Supporting your child through entrance exams like the 7+, 11+, 13+, or GCSEs can feel like being the coach of a very unpredictable sports team. One minute, they’re confidently tackling a past paper, and the next, they’re face down on the sofa, claiming their brain has “stopped working.” You want to guide them, but how do you do it without accidentally turning their revisions into a daily battle?
As a yoga practitioner, educator, and life coach working with teens and twentysomethings, I’ve learned that success whether in exams, parenting, or mastering a yoga pose-is about remembering to breathe, finding balance and staying flexible.
In yoga, if you force a stretch, you pull a muscle. If you resist the process, you topple over. The same applies here - push too hard, and stress takes over; step back too much, and motivation wobbles. The key is supporting your child in a way that encourages focus, confidence, and resilience.
Here are six steps to help your child succeed while keeping the peace and your sense of humor intact!
Step 1: Learn to breathe (conscious breathing)
Just as breath is key in yoga, it is essential in exam preparation. One of the most effective ways to create calm, focus, and resilience is through conscious breathing. Encourage your child to try this simple yet powerful breathing practice, and practise with them daily.
Sit down in a comfortable position:
- Inhale through the nose for 4 seconds (or less if it is too challenging at the beginning - with time and practice you’ll get to 4 seconds)
- Exhale through the nose for 6 seconds (same, with time you’ll manage 6 seconds)
- Repeat for 5 to 10 minutes (use a timer) every day!
This practice calms the nervous system, reduces anxiety, and improves concentration—helping your child feel more in control and mentally sharp before studying or an exam. When you practise conscious breathing you are in the present moment, and only in the present can you be in control.
Step 2: Create a Strong Support Triangle
Imagine Trikonasana (Triangle Pose) in yoga:
The three points which make the triangle-your child, their teachers, and you— work together in balance, strength, and synchronization. If one side is weak, the entire pose collapses. Likewise, for your child’s success, communication and collaboration between all three are essential.
How to apply this:
- Work with teachers. Stay informed about your child’s progress and ask how you can reinforce learning at home.
- Be your child’s partner. Encourage independence while offering support where needed. (See steps 3, 4 & 5)
Step 3: Normalise Their Emotions
Exams bring a whirlwind of emotions—stress, frustration, excitement, fear, you name it! Rather than dismissing these feelings, acknowledge and validate them. When children feel heard, they develop emotional resilience and confidence.
You can say:
“It’s normal that you feel stressed, nervous, or even frustrated. These emotions show that you care and that you’re pushing yourself. However, ‘normal’ doesn’t mean ‘necessary.’ You don’t have to stay stuck in these feelings.”
Encourage them to take action by asking:
- What could you do to feel a little more in control right now?
- How can we make this process less overwhelming for you?
- What small step could you take to shift your mindset?
By helping your child see that they have the power to change their emotional state, you equip them with tools for resilience— not just for exams, but for life. And that’s what you want!
Step 4: Establish a Sunday Strategy Session
Think of your child’s week like a ship setting sail—without a clear course, they may drift aimlessly. Every Sunday afternoon, sit down together in a calm, safe space to map out the week ahead.
What to include:
- Study plan: When is the best time to revise based on their timetable and energy levels?
- Brain food: Plan meals that fuel focus (e.g., nuts, berries, eggs, and whole grains).
- Balance: Schedule breaks, exercise, and fun activities.
- Feedback: Ask your child what worked well last week and what could be adjusted.
By planning together, your child gains ownership over their learning, making them more likely to stick to the plan.
Step 5: Shift from “Fixing” to “Empowering”
Many parents feel the urgency to help and instinctively jump in to solve problems, and this is completely understandable (I’ve just acknowledged and validated your feelings) but exams are an opportunity for children to develop independence.
Instead of giving answers, ask:
- What strategies have helped you before?
- If this was a friend’s problem, what advice would you give?
Encourage them to focus on small, manageable steps rather than getting overwhelmed by the big picture. Often, students feel paralysed because they are staring at the whole forest—the final exam, the competition, the pressure. Instead, teach them to count the trees—one subject, one topic, one study session at a time. One breath at a time.
Think of yourself as a coach, not a player—your job is to guide, not take over.
Step 6: And …Trust the Process
As parents, we plant the seeds, nurture them with care, and trust that growth will unfold in its own time. Your child’s success isn’t determined by a single exam but by the mindset they develop along the way. Encourage them to believe that consistent effort — not perfection — is what truly leads to success.
So, how do we trust the process? One powerful way is through faith—faith in their ability to rise to the challenge and faith that, no matter the outcome, they have the resilience to navigate it.
A great question to ask:
“What have you learned about yourself through this experience?”
Final Thoughts
Supporting your child through exams goes beyond studying—it’s about balance, trust, and emotional resilience. By working together, validating their feelings, planning strategically, and giving them the space to grow, you’re helping them build the confidence they need—not just for exams, but for life.
And that is exactly what matters most.
P.S. Remember, we always do the best we can.
(https://www.linkedin.com/in/dominique-vellutini-2575022bb)
